Asgardian Secretary
by Mepoe
Summary: 'Kevin' has been investigating the ghost invasion since the beginning, thought the need of passing as an idiot turns tings more complicated that should be. And then his friend comes and blows his cover. Expect a round of awkward questions from his employers and a smug 'friend' complicating things more and making him look like a real fool.


Erin was crazy, Abby decided. Yes, Kevin was aesthetically pleasant, but his character… he was so childlike, being attracted to him was... wrong. At least Holtz was aware of his daftness, even if she too seemed to think he was handsome.

His glasses didn't have lens! He confused sight with sound! And what the hell were his designs!? He was DUMB. And tasteless.

'Woah… What a hottie…' thought Erin looking at Kevin's body. She had become completely stupefied.

'He is the pet of our group' thought Holtz.

The lady from the 'cubicle' spoke with the team and 'Kevin' told them she wanted to speak with them, they looked at him unbelievingly, good for him, he was impersonating a daft human after all. A daft human that was the contrary of him: Maleducated, unaware of his surroundings and did not like 'coffee' (even if he didn't like throwing it, it was another distraction for anyone who may suspect his identity).

'Culture shock' was such an inconvenient thing sometimes, he didn't like people thinking that he was 'brainless', he had had enough of it from Loki some years before. Nevertheless he recognized it was funny seeing others squirm uncomfortably at his mannerisms (his brother had been a bad influence for him). Lady Jane and Lady Darcy had been kind enough to teach him the art of Midgardian 'slang' and it was being quite useful, although the rest of the Avengers did not know of it.

He was quite uncomfortable himself with Lady Erin's lustful glances towards his person, he appreciated the sentiment but there were limits and, at the moment, he was completely devoted to Lady Jane. Lady Abigail was properly professional and Lady Jillian regarded him as a pet (not that he blamed her, his facade was well-crafted) and paid him no mind.

Then, Lady Patricia joined the 'Ghostbusters' and acquired a form of transportation.

'Kevin' was smiling at Lady Patricia, Jillian and Abigail from the street, he was tired of being always inside, and bored, but saying that would be unbecoming. And he acquired a 'motorcycle'! It wasn't as different of some Asgardian contractions as one might imagine.

Something green flew towards him, Thor didn't react in time and the spirit took possession of his body, fortunately he could block his Godly abilities from it.

He did not know what to think, that being was using his body in a ridiculous manner, what a disgrace. His brothers in arms would be mocking him, he was sure that friend Anthony had some sort of surveillance system around and was watching his every move (only that it wasn't him).

Then the spirit inside his body did the 'Peter Pan thing?' and everything went black.

He awoke in front of a 'sandwich' establishment. Mmmm… Sandwich… He was really hungry...

The Ghostbusters were at their base, testing devices and searching for more ghosts, Kevin was at the next room with the, now disconnected, phone.

"Hmm" mussed Patty.

"What is it? You have heard something?" asked Erin approaching her.

"Yes, I heard something weird. What's 'Zuul'?" asked Patty, Erin looked at Abby that was behind them and shrugged. Then, the door opened and Tony Stark entered. All movement stopped.

"Holy s***!" exclaimed Holtz from behind her desk, standing up in a jiffy "Tony m**** f***** Stark!"

"We have noticed, thanks" sassed Patty.

"Hello" he said, behind him was a corpulent man in a suit, carrying a gold and red suitcase "I came to talk with 'blondie', you may know him as your secretary. I need him for some extraterrestrial information" informed Tony then, he saw Holtz's nutcracker "What's that? Looks cool. For what it is? No, I know, hunting ghosts and all that, but how it works?" he asked, almost without breathing, at a mouth-hanging Holtz, who, for once, felt overwhelmed.

"Wait" commanded Abby, Tony turned towards her "Extraterrestrial matters, to Kevin? You don't have Thor for this?"

"Have you never compared them?" asked Tony, Abby and Patty didn't process, but Erin gasped and Holtz fell (dramatically) to the ground, looking at the door frame of the secretary's office with wide eyes. 'Kevin', Thor, was eyeing them, with a guilty air, from it. He looked straight at Tony, his goofiness greatly diminished.

"You do not miss an opportunity to cause 'awkward' situations, my friend" he said with a tick, and cultured, Shakespearean accent.

Erin ogled Thor dreamily, Holz scrutinized him and Patty tried to say something without finding the words, meanwhile, Abby regarded him. Tony grinned widely and the man behind him chuckled.

"Why did you apply as our secretary if you are an Asgardian God?" inquired Erin, arms crossed and lips pursed.

"There's something more important, that crazy madman, Rowan North, was possessing an Asgardian God!?" exclaimed Patty, some steps at her side.

"Heimdall told me that there was chaos arising at Midgard, so I came to investigate. And do not fret, Lady Patricia, for my Godly abilities were blocked from that evildoer." answered Thor, sitting on a chair and, finally, drinking some coffee.

"Why did you act so dumb?" asked Holtz, sitting on a table, her inventions scattered around her.

"Even if it interests me greatly I do not know a lot about Midgardian customs and some common 'devices' functioning escapes me, it was better if I downplayed my intelligence"

"The lens from the glasses" stated Abby.

"Uhm… Ehem, I stated the reason and, frankly, I do not understand why some Midgardians wear them without needing too"

"It's like with your hair or the ornaments on your clothes, Thor, vanity" explained Tony from the other side of Holtz's desk, where he was dissecting a machine.

"What with the designs for our logo?"

"That was a prank from a friend, I suspect. Lady Jane did, indeed, show me how to design simple compositions with a 'computer' but I am afraid that the ones I did were replaced" countered Thor, at that, Tony sniggered "Do you know anything about it, my friend?" asked Thor, spinning towards him. Tony coughed while Happy Hogan, his bodyguard, chauffeur and friend, raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't do it" said Tony, cowed.

"I did not ask if it was you, Anthony, I ask if you know who it was, although, judging why who knew what I was planning, my safest bet is in Lady Darcy"

Tony smiled wickedly at him and nodded, Thor huffed, annoyed.

"Anyways, how did you know how to find me, Anthony?"

"Well… it all started when Rhodey…" started telling Tony.

Two days before now...

Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes was walking painstakingly slowly with his crutches towards the subway, only he would forget to call a taxi when he needed it!

While he was cursing his life, a motorbike with a tall, blonde and brawny man ridding it stopped near him.

"Hey, sorry!" said the man, Rhodey looked at him and did a double take, Thor? "Could you tell me how to find the N. Moore Street? I think I went to the wrong direction" he inquired politely.

"Oh, yes, you will have to turn around, friend" said Rhodey, distracted.

"Thank you!" said the Thor-lookalike, and took off.

Rhodey stayed a few more moments looking at his retreating back until a car driver honked at him.

"Well, I had a good reference of his character so I thought he would give me the correct address" said Thor when no one said anything.

"So your cover was busted because you are a tourist" commented Holtz with mirth.

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Hello people/readers/whoever reads that. For the moment this is the first and only chapter, I will leave an opening for a series of mini stories because I would like a meeting between Ghostbusters and Avengers.

I would like to comment that before that story was written and was still an idea in my head there were two other in AO3 that used the 'Thor is Kevin' prom:

-Something Strange by enigma731

-Who Ya Gonna Call? by FrozenHearts 


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